Ladies of the League would never say these.

Ladies of the League would never say these.

You won’t hear the ladies of the League saying these things.

I only learned about “hiding” someone when some of my girlfriends mentioned in a post on our “private thread” that they had “hidden” someone who was driving them nuts.  “HIDE” someone?  Who and why would you do that I thought?  How do you do that?  Then, I loved the time a “friend” went to great lengths on her WALL to post a status about de-friending someone for his differing and obnoxious political views.  Obnoxious….uuumm….the pot or the kettle?

When I first got on Facebook I loved that an old friend had posted on her wall her fondness for an old friend….a guy friend.  We told her everyone could see her post.  “What?! Do you think he SAW that?”  Well, as a matter of fact, he did.  I LOVE the rush to change a relationship status when a couple gets together or breaks up.  It goes like this.  Sitting with our friends to see who makes it official first.  YES!  Now, you can post it!  In a relationship with______!    We are now Facebook Official!!  Or, the jerk broke up with you!  Relationship status….SINGLE!!  NOW it’s time to bash him in your status.

What is most fun is the Facebook War.  Someone has hurt your feelings.  Maybe you didn’t get invited somewhere….so….you make sure you get lots of friends together except for the person who excluded you.  Then you take lots of pictures documenting all the fun you had and post them ALL over Facebook!   That will surely show the offender!  This war can be waged by all people…rich or poor…male or female…young or old.  Yes, everyone can play this game of…war. Facebook can be a playground and even adults can resort to childish behavior.

I am amused by the Facebook Stalkers.  Though, harmless, they are the people who say, “wow, you sure are on Facebook a lot….you are the Facebook Queen!”  Now, correct me if I am wrong, but if they see me on Facebook a lot…then aren’t they on Facebook a lot too?

I first heard of Facebook when my children graduated from Myspace.  I never had a Myspace, but a young friend of mine encouraged me to join the Social Networking Age.  I told her that I was (at the time) 46 years old and that I was too old to be on Facebook.  But, when my daddy and 80 year old aunt joined Facebook that sealed the deal.

I joined Facebook and soon connected with old friends I hadn’t seen in 30 years, former work colleagues and many family members I did not keep in touch with on a regular basis.  I enjoyed staying in touch with neighborhood friends who I did not see if not for a glimpse on my news feed or a comment on a post.  Facebook has also come in handy when I needed something.  Status:  Does anyone near me have a USB cable?  Result:  A neighbor came to the rescue!  Or, when I needed someone to send my daughter, Camille, an outfit to Tuscaloosa.  Status:  If anyone is headed to Tuscaloosa and could take Camille an outfit please let me know!  Result:  A neighborhood friend whose daughter is also a student at the University of Alabama was in town for the night and she took the much needed outfit to Tuscaloosa.   Facebook has also been the bearer of sad news.  Several friends have used their status to notify friends that loved ones have died.  We were able to give our condolences and come together to support our Facebook Friend.

Of course my favorite pastime is Facebook Hijacking…..but, I only hijack my son, Ben’s status.  Status:  I want to marry a girl as beautiful as my mommy, Rhonda Davis Stoner!  Or something like this.  Status:  I can’t wait until the Justin Bieber concert!  Of course both of these mortify a 15 year old boy.  I’m not sure who started our FB Hijacking duel, but it has intensified.  At first when he hijacked my FB he would write something rather benign.  Status:  I think I’m so cool.  Then, he upped the ante….raised the stakes.  I think it started with this.  Status:  I’m pregnant!  My cell was deluged with texts!  What?  You are?  I had no idea what each text meant.  Then, a friend of mine who was indeed pregnant clued me in on my status….my announcement!  Apparently, my precious son had picked up my cell and just easily clicked on my Facebook and voila!  Updated my status without my knowledge.  Being a teenage boy he thinks he’s quite cute when he sees my FB on my laptop and posts something like this.  Status:  My butt is big!, Status:  I have butt acne!,  or  Status:  I have hairy armpits!  The comments pour!  The ball is then in my court where I then post something quite mature on my status like….Status:  Who is Ben Stoner?  I don’t have a son named, Ben!  My Facebook friends now know all of the signs of the Ben/Cookie Stoner Facebook Hijacking Duel!  Even though I cringe to think anyone would think I have any blemishes in unsaid places, don’t shave my underarms or that I am announcing a new edition in my middle age I actually enjoy this game of Status Badminton.

My decision to temporarily deactivate my Facebook account was to give me time to focus on writing and working without distraction.  Friends, family and acquaintances also known as my Facebook friends have called or texted me expressing concern and wondering if I have de-friended them.  My daddy said he just liked knowing he could make sure everything was ok and my whereabouts by keeping up with me on Facebook.  My son even told me he missed me being on Facebook, though I think he just misses our little game.

Of course Facebook for me is an apolitical, light and fun place.  A stage to perform quips, thoughts and celebrate my friends and family.  My Facebook is not a place to tell the world that my child is really pissing me off with back talk or that someone has wronged me.  But, that is my Facebook.

The one thing I have realized is that each person’s Facebook page is a lot like their personality.  Some of them are really lively and over the top, some stay the same not posting much because they are sitting back watching others and some just… exist.  Even if my Facebook friends are Single, interested in boys, girls or both, Protestant, Catholic, Spiritual, Buddhist, Atheist, Liberal, Conservative, fluent in French, Spanish or Pig Latin I enjoy connecting with people. I celebrate statuses which proclaim, my child made the A honor roll!, my child made the football team!, my child made cheerleading!, my husband got a promotion!, I got a new job!, vacation here we come!  I enjoy seeing people in their photos enjoying life and sharing it with their network.  Yes, Facebook can be an exercise in good manners.  We shouldn’t be envious, scrutinizing, judgmental angry or negative. We should treat people the way we want to be treated.  Yes, even on Facebook.  But, if they really get on our nerves at least we can always “hide” them.

There is even a Facebook group dedicated to preserving him and a song by Vampire Weekend (I’ve never heard of them either)  aptly named, “Oxford Comma.”   I feel like this little guy needs to be more than just an it.  I now think of this petite purveyor of order as a small friend…almost like a pet rock.  Of course my little friend actually does more than just sit there like a rock.  He can make a list a little clearer or as Linda explained the Serial Comma can actually create life (you will actually have to read her post to understand this one).

I’ve read the arguments for the survival of Blip (I always name my pets…yes, even the rock) and the arguments for why we don’t need him.  It seems to be a pretty even debate.  Irregardless (I’m just kidding, Linda) I will continue to honor Blip by including him in my notes, letters, and my blog.  Even if Blip doesn’t make things clearer, Linda seems like she would be a great friend.  She would tolerate my fragments, my occasional placement of a preposition at the end of my run on sentence, my…, and any infinitives that I might happen to split.  And, we would share our fondness for Blip!  Yes, I hope to make Linda’s acquaintance someday because I do like a writer who starts a post with a confession.